I'm not sure what I expected to find out once I emerged from my self imposed isolation, but I wasn't prepared for all the information thrown my way yesterday. Buffy's married and pregnant. Cordelia is happily married. Darla's back, healthy, human and dating the immortal. Connor is in love with Justine and living with Holtz. Fred and Wes are back too. It seems like everything changed in the time I was gone. Maybe for the better. Most of them sound happy.

One thing that's become clear is it's time for me to leave Tibet. I've hidden stayed here long enough. Whatever I was searching for when I arrived hasn't been found so it probably won't be. Darla wants to see me so we discuss things. By things of course that means Connor. So, I'm headed to Boston. It sounds like most of the people I care about have relocated there.



I'm not sure I'm ready to see Darla again. The last time she was human I wasn't able to save her. I went through the trials for her, but it wasn't enough. Sometimes I wonder if that is how we were blessed with Connor. They said we were owed a life and the next thing I knew Darla was pregnant.

I'll always be drawn to her. She's Darla. Talking with her in the comments of my journal was enough to bring old feelings to the surface. I can only imagine what it will be like once I can hear her heart beat and look into those eyes that have haunted me for centuries. Not only that, I let her down. I'd promised to protect Connor and I failed.

How am I going to explain how things went wrong? Does she even want an explanation? I agree with her concerns about Holtz and Justine, but I've spent enough time with our son to know that we have to approach this carefully. If we try and force him to see things our way he'll cut off communication with us and build those walls back up. He's just like us in that retrospect; stubborn and set in his ways.

Connor agreed to see me when I make it back to the states. It's pretty clear he wants to keep that meeting secret and I can respect his wishes. It seemed like we were making some progress in our relationship the last time I saw him, but I disappeared and now Holtz is back. I'm not sure where we stand now.

I guess the only way to find out is to see Darla first and then make my way over to see my son.